Have you ever been confronted by someone who was angry either in person or by email or text? Have you ever regretted how you reacted? Usually, when we say things we didn’t mean, or said the wrong thing with the wrong tone of voice in front of the wrong people, we reacted to a situation instead of responding. If you want to stay calm and keep your composure when confronted, remember these two things:
1. Take a deep breath
This will help you remain calm and hopefully keep you from an automatic, and maybe emotional response. It will also buy you some time to really think about what you’re going to say before you say it.
2. Ask a clarifying question
There is so much stress in today’s workforce due to unclear communication. Instead of reacting immediately with your opinion or your defense, ask a clarifying question. Gather more information before you invest emotionally into the conversation. Here are a couple of examples: “Help me understand your question.” Or “What is going on?” Or a simple, “What do you mean?” Choose one and wait for an answer before you respond.
And, by the way, if you waited too long to take a breath and you are having all the warning signals of going off on someone (red face, heart racing, etc.) then remove yourself from the situation so you can come back with a thought-out answer. “Let’s regroup at 2pm, or would 2:30 work better for you?” Or a simple, “I need 5 minutes” then leave. When you use one of these exit lines, it doesn’t matter where you go, it matters what you do. Don’t leave to gather more ammunition for a fight, go and do what calms you down. Walk outside and get some fresh air. Talk to a trusted co-worker. Or, even do some deep-breathing meditation exercises. Then, once you’ve calmed down, return to the conversation with some non-anger filled dialogue.
Have a GREAT Front-Row Friday and may your conversations with difficult people be just a bit less stressful.
Your Head Usher,
