I know that this time of year can be very stressful. Can you feel a heightened sense of stress and anxiety this year? It can be very difficult to navigate those once-a-year holiday parties, or family get-togethers. Now is the perfect time to preserve your energy even when dealing with heightened stress and anxiety that often comes with getting together with co-workers or family. Today’s Front-Row Friday video will teach you three things that you can do to prepare for the potential difficult time. There are people, places, and things that can be triggering for you, so these three ideas should help.
1. Know, set, and respect your boundaries. It helps to know what your triggers are: what people push your buttons, what places bring back memories that make you uncomfortable and what situations usually end up in disaster. Know your boundaries of when you simply need to say no. Then, set that boundary and respect it. If that means saying no to an annual get together, then say no. No excuses, you can just say no. If someone insists that they need to know why you’re not coming, just simply say, it’s not going to work this year. Of course some people may deserve more of an explanation, but you get to decide who those people are.
2. Di-vest emotionally around those people who live to push your buttons. I think you know those people who wait until the whole family has gathered around the table and then they drop the most opinionated, judgmental, and inappropriate bomb on the group. They live for the reaction! If you choose to show up, then make sure you protect yourself by staying in curiosity. Don’t get defensive or take things personally. I even learned from Dr. Romani being interviewed on Mel Robbin’s Podcast on dealing with narcissistic people, she plays a game by keeping track of the put-downs. It’s hilarious to think that silently she’s hoping for one more put down so she can be rewarded with a massage! Brilliant! I’m not encouraging you to take abusive behavior, but if you choose to be around people who will never change, don’t get defensive, just take the high road and choose curiosity over defensiveness.
3. Have your BFF on speed dial. Strong people need help too. Helpers need help too. Let your inner circle know you may need help, and then plan on a get-together as soon as you get back. Some of the funniest texts go back and forth during stressful times, and that helps me tremendously when I’m in a temporary uncomfortable place.
I hope you will never need these strategies. I hope that whomever you choose to spend time with values you, validates you, and shows you unconditional front-row love. If not, I got you covered.
Have an amazing Front-Row Friday!
Your head usher,
Marilyn
