How do you protect your front-row positive energy when you are around negative people? That was one of the questions I got from a couple of students after I spoke at High Point University today. My answer was “It depends on the relationship and it’s situational.” Here are three things I told them that might be helpful to you the next time you are around negative people.
1. Show some grace. Before getting defensive or allowing the negative to penetrate your energy, try giving some grace. If it’s a friend of yours, check in with them. Ask them how they are doing. Maybe offer to go for a cup of coffee and see what’s going on. There is heightened anxiety these days, so show some grace and know that their negativity has nothing to do with you but because you’re a friend, they feel comfortable in venting.
2. Set some boundaries If you have a friend that consistently shows negativity and always seems to complain, then establish some boundaries around that person. If not, one of two things is going to happen. You’ll start to avoid those energy-drainers (it’s exhausting being around them) or you’ll start to absorb that energy yourself. I had a co-worker one time who would complain constantly. I sat down with her and set a boundary: “Okay, you’ve got five minutes, then I’m am going to have a great day. Go ahead and vent.” She got the message and never complained again around me because of that boundary I had set.
3. Make something up This last idea is used if you don’t know this person, you don’t have a relationship with them, but you are in their presence like out in public. I travel a lot so I am interacting with people all the time on planes, in airports etc. and I know I’ll never see them again. If I encounter someone who is super negative, I’m not going to offer to take them for coffee, that makes no sense. So in order to maintain my positive energy, I make up a story about them. I think, “Oh, so sad, they probably have never learned positive psychology, never read a book on being positive, and certainly never have seen a motivational speaker. That’s so sad.” This story is only for me, I don’t share it, I just use it as a way to maintain my positivity even around negative people.
One final bonus. Don’t forget, there is no such thing as a bad day, only bad moments that people choose to nurse all day long. So call it a bad moment, then turn the negative energy into positive energy.
Have a great day!
Your head usher,
Marilyn
