Re-Entry. People are starting to move out of quarantine and back to work. Are you prepared? I know it’s necessary to have protocols in place. But, have you thought of the people-side of re-entry? There is no going back to ‘normal.’ I call this going ‘Back to the NEW Future.’ Aside from the communications and new rules and safety regulations, there is the people-side of re-entry that I want you to consider.
One of the first speakers I ever saw live was Dr. Elizabeth Küblar-Ross. She wrote an international best-seller, “On Death and Dying,” where she introduced the five stages people go through when experiencing grief or loss. As we are all experiencing a gradual re-entry to work during this history-making pandemic, I can’t help but see the application as they apply to managing people. In her book, she talks about grieving the loss of a loved one. I see these same stages as we collectively grieve:
- The loss of normalcy
- The loss of job security
- The loss of routine
- The loss of how we ‘used to’ conduct business before the need for precautions.
If you’re not familiar with her work known as the “Küblar-Ross model,” here are her five stages, with my thoughts and current adaptations to help you with your re-entry.
1. Denial
Believe it or not, some people believe the self-quarantine protocol is an overreaction to nothing more than the flu. They avoid hearing about what’s happening, and they go about their business as if nothing happened. Just recently, one of our local Las Vegas Costco employees was in a viral video that made national news because he refused to allow a customer in without his mask. The customer claimed he didn’t need to wear a mask because he “Lives in a free country.”
2. Anger
Anger often happens as people slowly realize their routine is disrupted. Their frustration, coupled with anxiety, escalates and comes out as anger. It’s very common to find yourself snapping at someone, especially if you’ve been quarantined with them for two months, over things that usually wouldn’t set you off. Remember, not only is this a typical stage to go through, but anger is okay. How you respond may not be okay. I like to remind people in this stage to take a beat, take a breath, and know that this too shall pass.
3. Depression
Depression often happens when the feelings of overwhelm and helplessness weigh people down. Many people I have talked to experience moments of darkness or heaviness over the last couple of months, a lethargic feeling of being down in the dumps with no energy to fully function. Some people feel awkward about talking about it because they aren’t used to it. The best way to cope is to ask for help. Call a trusted friend, talk to someone who has your back and get honest about what you’re going through. Talking about the darkness is the first step in moving through this stage. If the depression is more serious then what a friend can help with, please seek professional help.
4. Bargaining
Although people try, there is no real way to make sense of what is happening. This stage is the ‘If only’ stage. Have you ever heard ‘If I only knew earlier than I would have worn a mask and I wouldn’t have gotten sick.’ ‘If we had only known about safety protocols in December, we wouldn’t be in this position.’ The bargaining stage is to try to make sense of the situation that is out of your control. Be aware of what isn’t in your control, and focus your energy on what you have control over right now will help you with this stage.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean you like what is happening; it means that you are now in a place to be open and honest about what you need to do to move forward. You are no longer wrestling with why this is happening, and why it’s not fair, and what is going to happen next. You are thinking of the solutions and taking steps towards your new future. This is the beginning of moving on from the struggle and frustration of it all to implementing new protocols of re-entry.
An important thing to note here is that these stages are not experienced in a linear fashion. Don’t think that you have to go through anger to get to depression, and then eventually you find acceptance and all is good. You may jump from depression back to anger and wake up and feel like hanging out in denial before going back to anger. There are no time frames for each stage, either. A friend of mine joked saying that he went through all five stages in one day! Others, of course, may take much longer.
Why is this important? Now that you know there are these five stages, you can more easily recognize them when you are in them. Then, give yourself some grace. When it comes to re-entry, acknowledge that the people you work with are also going through these stages. When you recognize these stages in others, remember to give them some grace as well.
Suggestions for re-entry:
- Be transparent (as you can) to your new protocols
- Train staff on handling communication to customers/clients/each other
- Check in with employees, make sure they are okay and they have a safe place to vent
- Listen empathically – people need to know they are being heard
- Offer solutions. Get comfortable with asking ‘What can I do to support you?’
Finally, when you roll out your protocol for re-entry, be sure to add conversations about the Elizabeth Kublar-Ross’s five stages and offer support when needed.
Which stage do you find yourself in these days? We really are in this together, and when it comes to navigating you and your new future, I want to help you if I can.
Hall of fame keynote business speaker has added virtual presentations as options for helping organizations stay positive and productive during this time and any time. Call today to see what she can do for you. Direct 702-575-4339 or email: Marilyn@MarilynSherman.com.
